Feb 28, 2008

Developing a New Fear?

Okay... I'm officially creeped out.

I am no longer safe. When I walk down the street I am being stalked. When I go into the park I am being hunted. When I goto work I am ambushed...
By terrorists or Velociraptors you wonder...
No... by CLOWNS!
The first phobia building event was my being hauled up on stage and being made to kiss a French Clown a month ago. Now whilst at placement a damn clown has shown up to out stage us teachers...

It wasn't just any clown either, but one truly worthy of hatred and contempt. Mr. Mac himself Ronald McDonald... (here pictured with a corporate logo whom I should probably hate too, but can't help but love).

The really sad part Ronald was both entertaining, and a better teacher than any of us with the kids. They were captivated by him. Proving my theory that there just possibly could be a place for me, my costumes, and puppets in the skool system.

What was truly frightening wasn't the fact he was a clown, but rather that I envied the man who had that job... That's right for some parts of the show I sat there thinking "that could be me, I want that job". I've showered 10 times since getting home, but the filth that tingles on my skin due to such thoughts won't come off!!!

So in a funny way I'm very scared of clowns at moment. Not of them being them, but rather of me becoming one of them!

Feb 24, 2008

The Clown

In the midst of looking up Maths objectives on the web I was invited to be a fan of the Loose Moose Theatre troupe on facebook. Checking out their fan site I discovered they have pictures of the clown I was forced to kiss after my DPP interview.

So there she is in all her glory. Apparently they have a show called Blind Date in which some poor sap gets to do the same routine I did as the WHOLE show! Good thing I got the short version that night.

I Am Alive...

So it's been a little while since I posted. As per usual I just don't have ANY where near as much time as I'd like (go figure).

So tons of things have happened lately that probably deserve posts (and hopefully will get them).


So I visited and explored Melbourne Australia for a few days which was awesome and fun. If I do NOT get to a post on this Traumador almost certainly will within a few months.

Met back up with the girl whilst there. Put this odd pic up as we both really liked it.

So with a far prettier picture, again met up with Rhonwyn in Melbourne where she introduced me to her native Aussieland. At the end of this little vacation we both flew back to Dunedin to resume the skool thing...

Dinosaur Provincial Park

After over a week of communications break down caused by long weekends, time zone differences, and non returned emails (on their part) I learned that I did not get a job at Dinosaur Provincial Park or any other Parks Alberta facility...

This has dampened my spirits a bit. I really wanted to work at DPP, and this was very well probably my last chance to do so. It also means there may be a major rework in my longterm plans as to where I'm going to end up after April...

The only thing I'm bitter about (and to be honest it has me furious) was that due to a presentation I made to a number of terrified 20+ year olds, I was told I "don't have enough experience working with children". Funny that I have 9 years of NOTHING but working with children. A impending certification as a primary teacher, and they tell me for next time I apply I need to work with kids more. Mother *BEEP*ers is all I have to say!!!

No time to dwell on this however...


Within three days of returning to New Zealand I was back in the classroom with kids again. The good news I'll be a true teacher in under 2 months. The bad news its going to be an insanely hectic and busy marathon to the end.

Speaking of which I need to get back to work. So yes interesting things have been happening, but I have no time to write them down (at least for now...)

Feb 7, 2008

The Problem with Spielberg Movies...

I've officially hit rock bottom with hollywood recently. I don't watch TV anymore (thanks a lot Ronald D. Moore and Battlestar!!!), and movies are increasingly becoming a hard sell with me. Thankfully superhero movies as of late have been of high enough quality to keep me going to see them (though Superman Returns has dampered me on the genre a bit).

Partially due to Mike's current obsesscion with Mystery Science Theatre 3000 (which I ironically introduced him to), and my recent apathy towards Hollywood I've been watching a lot of MSK3000 and their new RiffTrax.

Now for those of you who have never heard of either of these. The basic idea is take a movie and make fun of it while you watch it. In this case they've pre-scripted and recorded this for you. MSK3000 was done with really old and BAD B movies, and you got the comedians with the movie. After they were cancelled many of the same performers have moved onto do modern blockbusters as mp3 commentary style tracks under the title RiffTrax.

What this means I now have some confirmation that mainstream movies are as dumb as I've been saying.

An unexpected, but really funny observation these guys have pointed out to me is how Spielberg movies achieve their "Spielberg" effectiveness.

I've always wondered how Spielberg movies managed to envoke wonder or suspense in moments that other movies fail to achieve similar moods. Thanks to the funny guys at Rifftrax I now know the secret, and it has ruined Spielberg. If you wish not to laugh everytime you watch one of his movies than stop reading...

His trick is to have people stand around and stare a LOT...

It makes sense that this would heighten your sense of curiosity or suspence. In real life someone would say something!!! You get wigged out by the unnatural silence from everyone on screen.

However after watching The Lost World in the background of packing I couldn't help but laugh now that I've noticed this. JP2 has at least 7 good silent stare moments. Not only does stop the flow of the movie, but it eats up precious time to make Spielberg movies seem longer.

So now whenever I see wide eyed starring towards off camera I can't help but chuckle and crack some Rifftrax lines.

At Mike's suggestion here is an example clip of them making fun of it (though their usually a little more polished than this particular format)

Feb 3, 2008

All In One Day!!!

So I knew today would be one of the big key days of my quick return to Canada...

I had NO idea it was going to be this memorable!

So the big event of the 2nd

My job interview with


So it was a Tyrrell style interview workshop (actually to be fair I'm pretty sure the museum borrowed the format from these guys...) in which you interview one on one, but also than have a day long seminar style group interview testing various interpretive qualities.

I had to be at the interview (on the OTHER side of town) by 9 am. So for the first time this trip I went to bed before midnight so I could in theory get some sleep.

5:30am: Things don't go according to plan. Of course being a little stressed about the interview I had a somewhat restless sleep... Making it truly unrestful my dad gets sick waking up mom who than at this early hour decides to do dishes?!?

The loud rattling and clanging wake me up sufficently to allow my mind to worry, and thus I'm effectively awake here on in...

8:30am: I arrive a good half hour early before the interview starts. At the exact same time as the interviewers in fact. So I appear ubber keen which is good.

8:55am: The interview process begins with me being both the first one on one interview of 2008. Hoping that means I cast the shadow others had to surpass.

My goal, though there are many parks to choose from, I REALLY want the job at:

Dinosaur Provincial Park

Overall I'm content with my performance at the workshop. Not happy or estatic, but also not angry or depressed by.

The only area I feel I nailed in the top 10% was the drama portion. Here we had to assume a 3 character's and sing as ourselves. Definately had among the most diverse character voices.

The program scripting went alright though I only got 3/4 done mine in the 30 min provided (I'm the slowest handwriter in the universe!). My 2 minute presentation went alright (over time, but as again I was the FIRST to go the timer didn't notice or warn me, and it so I stretched my talk thinking I'd sped through it too fast...). The only part I bombed was the natural history test, but as it was mostly on Rockie Mountain stuff I wasn't too bummed (that and 75% of us didn't know the stuff).

My big hope is that I managed to get in a few words towards the end with the head man of DPP himself, and I got a good vibe from it.

Basically it's over PHEW! Now I have to play the waiting game... which sucks... I'm going to play Hungry Hungry Hippos instead!

So after this Amber showed up to hang-out, and we decided to goto the Loose Moose Improve Comedy Show.

It was only my third time there, and the first in years since they moved locations. The show had been entertaining in the way improv is. When the second last act comes along, and it's time for ambush someone from the audience...

Now it should be pointed out I've been up for 15-16 hours on 5 hours sleep, and had my nerves shot royal throughout the day...

The hostess actress Rebecca Northan jumps up into the audience in search of a victim. Now you'll note her name has a link here. Earlier in the show she had an improv related punishment of having to tell the audience why she was NOT famous. So despite having some parts in movies and TV including 2 episodes of This Hour Has 22 Minutes, we the audience hadn't done our part she informed us.

Anyways she jumps up onto the steps, and I make the mistake of making eye contact... oops. I can tell instantly I'm the target, though she takes her time to grab me and haul me down on stage...

Oh and she looked more like this. In that she was a French Clown with the nose, and whacky French accent.

The sketch I get plugged into is me and this clown after 5 years of marriage. Now I'm not going to claim I was brilliant, but despite their best efforts they didn't embrass or dumbfound me to the point of looking, well dumb :P

After trying to turn me into a bad husband by ambush I turned it around by acting like one (in a very silly me way) she suddenly left the house leaving with me and our "son"... Who was a puppet! Junior was doomed from the start LOL

I already guessed Jrs. rough routine of being ubber brat so I stepped it up a notch by making me look like the BAD one. Giving it beer when it started crying, and pretending I thought everything it said was a line from TV.

Even when wife returned and found out about the beer, and accused me of previously giving the baby bad things I kept up the not fighting the way they wanted me to by applogizing "again" for these supposed past deeds which surprised the heck out of them.

So in the end how did I get embrassed and take away a weird experience. Well it wasn't too bad. Just really funny and surreal. Especially in my state of mind at the time.

So she'd wanted kisses throughout the sketch, and I only gave her pecks on the check to which she started setting up my downfall with "5 years of marriage and you call that a kiss!". So at the end she ambushed me with the desire for a GOOD kiss. Thank the Lords of Kobal I know how to stage kiss!

So a good fake out of just pressing lips together with a lot of suggestive body and head movements the crowd went estatic as the lights dimmed. A very sincere thank you from Rebecca during the applause (I think more for keeping the sketch moving and not stagnating than anything else), and a bow to the crowd I returned to my chair.

Though I wasn't in top form (I thought of several hilarious things could have done after the fact) I did keep this ambush sketch going for at least 5 mins without losing my cool or rythm. I didn't steal the show apart from once or twice (the baby beer was the audiences fav of my stuff), but I sure did surprise people.

In fact I had 5 people after the show come up congragulate me, and once ask "were you actually a member of the audience?!?".

So I now wrap up this ubber long day (at 20 hours awake now). Been a long long ride.

I hear back from Alb Parks later in the month so keep you posted.

Yet despite the interview being the important event of the day... somehow having to kiss a French Clown takes the moment of the day...

Oh and now I'm probably in trouble... Don't tell Rhonwyn PLEASE ;p

Feb 1, 2008

What Darth Vadar Really Wanted

Awesome remix of Episode 4 using James Earl's Jones lines from coming to America. Very funny!