First and foremost, at least to my family back home (I'm not as involved as I could be), there has been a potential tragic development with an extended family member. There is still a chance of an optimistic outcome, but yet there is a lot of potential for a very somber ending too. So that has sapped the fun out of my day off.
At the same time this event itself wasn't what ruined my day, mind you, it is my complete detach from the situation emotionally that has me worried. I've been told many times in situations where death and loss are involved, I'm eerily apathetic and clinical about such affairs. As I'm doing it once again, I worry, and thus feel unhappy, that I'm a broken person or something?
I just accept death easily. It is the only certainty of life. Getting upset about its occurrence seems as silly to me as getting upset that gravity keeps drawing your foot to the ground with each step while walking... Yet I worry that somehow this makes me an inferior person, as most around me seem to think I should be more sad or moved by these situations...
Instead I've been (trying anyway) to use this gift of spare time usefully for creative things. I've been somewhat successful as you'll see. At the same time I've been dealt almost too much potential for artistic growth today.
This morning I made a key stop at the Uni print shop and got the Vertex modelling chapter from Carrara's help manual printed. It was proving next to impossible to use the program while referencing the PDF help file at the same time. So I broke down today and splurged the $10 to print the hefty chapter so I could seriously tackle it.
Yet at the same time I got a very intriguing and tempting email from DAZ (the company that maintains Carrara) about a sale on Blacksmith Paint 3D. This is a 3D painting program of the variety I've been wanting to track down and learn for months now, so I can kick my texturing up to pro levels, and it at a price NEARLY within my price range!!!
So I have been dealt a conundrum today. Whether to jump into the Vertex or play with a demo version of the new painting program simply to see if it interests me?
So far I've been testing the painting program, as the sale is a limited time offer. I'm not 100% certain yet, but it is looking very promising. My key complaint at moment is there is no user manual or comprehensive help section for me to reference whether I can do what I want with the program. Superficially it seems to do what I want, but the finer details are hard to check as I don't know my way around the program!
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I've also made some more changes and improvements to the Tylosaur.
In there you can just make out the extra "second jaw" of teeth on the palate. One of my favourite features of Mosasaurs and their relatives is this extra set of teeth at the back of the throat that keep prey from escaping once in the mouth.
I've also started to rework the fins into something a little more leggy. Afterall Mosasaurs were lizards that reentered the water, and as they swam like a snake by undulating their body the fins weren't that important.
UPDATE:
Did some more work after this post originally went up.
Still no updates on the family issue... which has become very time sensitive (for a good outcome).
The 3D paint program while appearing to be ideal for my purposes, is probably not a wise purchase at this point. It has been pointed out by many to be an unwise time (moving in 5.5 weeks) to make such a purchase, and that I'm probably making the purchase to try and ease my current emotional state (aka filling the void).
I did do some more work on the Tylosaur though...
After some research I have found that Mosasaur tails and Mosasaur flippers/fins are essentially up to the artist, as there is no standard. I also couldn't find any official academic answers, though like the lips I've posed them to ask a Biologist.
So I've gone with a sea snake tail, as it is common practise by cutting edge Mosasaur artists, and still connects it to its ancestry... as that is my aim with this critter.
So with the Painting program a bust (for now), I'm moving onto Vertexing with a vengeance this weekend...
4 comments:
On a happier note: the mosasaur looks like it's coming along great!
On the not-so-happy note: I'm sorry to hear about your predicament. I hope things turn out all right in the end.
Well, that's OK ... not everybody can face a same situation in exactly the same fashion, that's what makes us humans! And I'm not saying that because I tend to react in a pretty similar way.
So sorry, man! :( Well...it could be worse, though I can understand how one might not think so at the moment in a family crises. :( Trust me, I´ve been down that road before many times and it´s difficult but, eventually we come out alright. So, don´t ever lose faith in yourself!
If it makes you feel any better, I reacted the same way my Papaw died, and we were extremely close! I still feel that guilt but remember, don´t think you´re hurting anybody! I know! Trust me, there is nothing wrong with you.
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