The second incident as though adding insult to injury was my having to deal with a big C creationist staff member during lunch time.
The encounter was triggered by my use of Traumador in my classroom, and Ms. C (not their name at all, but rather denoting their BS Creationist beliefs) taking exception to that. She was borderline harassing me about my endorsing such "controversial" material as Dinosaurs to children... funny enough afterwards I found 4 skool owned books on the subject in my classroom alone!...
Due to the fact I'm a substitute teacher I play nice no matter where I go and what happens to me. My employment depends on not rocking the boat at all. So I somehow (and could probably claim admirably) kept my mouth shut, and yet pretended I gave a rats @$$ about what she told me. The whole tell the Penguins from Madagascar's quote "Smile and [nod], boys, smile and [nod]" ran through my head.
The reason for the post though, was her statement that "They [Dinosaurs] weren't even real you know."
That has to be my favourite creationist 'fact'. Though I didn't delve into it today with her, for a number of reasons, it dredged up many memories of my past encounters with Big C's at the museum.
There are 2 variants of the creationist denial of fossils. Which in itself I think speaks to the stupidity I've dealt with.
The majority of creationists have had to concede that fossils are real, and incidentally present a big "problem" to their beliefs (in that they are totally WRONG!). Yet emphasising how not connected into reality creationism really is, some in the creationist movement have decided, rather than try to sidestep and blur the issue of fossils, they're just going to deny they exist. Which indicates how "real" their view point on the origin of things really is. When they have to pretend whole aspects of the world around them don't exist simply so that they can keep pretending their ancient fiction is real...
Anyways 2 variant versions of why fossils aren't real...
1. Evil Scientists and the Evolutionary Conspiracy...
This is my favourite of the two, and it is the easiest to show the stupidity behind it.
It goes like this, apparently "scientists" starting with Darwin (even though fossils have been recorded from as far back as the Greeks! but that is besides the point... for some reason) decided to start a clandestine conspiracy and "create" evidence for his new super villianistic scheme called "evolution"... for some reason... Meaning all the fossil evidence from around the world was in fact created by this cabal of evil academics to support the nefarious plot of "evolution"... for some reason... and yet no not single member of this secret society has ever broken ranks to warn the witless public at large of this diabolical ruse... again for some reason.
In other words palaeontologists and geologists make fossils, hide them, and than pretend to find them...
Like I said, this is a terrifically hilarious idea, and worthy of a whole TV franchise. It is also very complementary at the same time, and gives earth science people a LOT of credit.
Afterall we scientists (I'm lumping myself in here as I've worked behind the scenes in one of the fortresses of evil... errr Palaeontology) are able to produce STUPID amounts of fossils every year. Not only that but we do them all custom with an incredibly diverse variety, composition, and geographic distribution. At the same time no one notices or works at our mass production facilities... MAAAAAHAHAHAH
We therefore must be economic geniuses. As we not only acquire all the materials needed to manufacture the fossils, but we also have an incredible logistics system to distribute the fossils to the remote locations we want them to be, and place them through totally undetectable means (the fact fossils are often found far from "witnesses" is proof of this conspiracy you see according to Big C's).
Not only that but we are incredibly good actors, able to legitimately pass off our own creations as things we happened to find!
We are the most united organization in the history of the world, making the conspiracies of the X-Files look like mere childs play. In the one and half centuries of the plot, not one member of our circle has defected and told the world of our mass deception. We also have been able to plant our creations around the world unnoticed, not only to be found by ourselves but naive citizens.
Best of all we do it for no reason other than it is something to do... I have yet to see world domination in the grasp of Palaeontology... or have I said to much...
I'm not kidding sadly. I've personally had a young teenage evangelical try to persuade me of this "truth"... mental note to self, she still knows too much...
It came up enough at the museum that the staff rewrote the song Three Blind Mice to go
Make, Hide, Find
Make, Hide, Find
We make the fossils,
We hide the fossils,
Make, Hide, Find
So as proof that this isn't true, I'll tell you theory number 2. The proof being if this conspiracy was as capable as the story goes they'd have killed me by now for saying this much!
This story goes in an effort to trick us humans off the true path of gOD that sneaky Satan went and planted fossils all around creation.
Now this is about as easy to discuss or debate as the existence of gOD. Is your imaginary friend real or not? Only in this case is your imaginary enemy real or not...
Well here is the reasons I think creationists should avoid this one.
First of all its not in your great touted "one true book". No where in the bible is there mention of Satan making fossils (or mention of fossils at all funny enough...). So immediately your claim that the bible is THE literal truth is looking kinda in trouble, as a very KEY event is missing. What else is maybe missing from the book?
The chapters about evolution before Genesis? That disclaimer at the front warning this book is fictional and resemblances between real people and events inside a merely coincidental?!?
However the kicker of this whole Devil made fossils argument, is it suddenly upgrades Satan from a mere second stringer gOD (oh sorry fallen angel) to a full on powerful gOD like the big G himself. Now Satan has the power to create stuff just like gOD did, a Genesis 2 as it were.
Now correct me if I'm wrong... If Satan can create stuff just like gOD, would that mean there isn't one true god, but in fact 2 of them. Now as Satan's creation of fossils would have to presumably be AFTER gOD created the world, as otherwise Genesis is wrong anyway and Satan is actually the world's creator, would that not make Satan more powerful than gOD? Afterall gOD creating the world is dandy and fine, but kinda easy as there was nothing there. Won't it take the real power in the universe to go and amend that creation after the fact?
So yes Satan would be trying to lead me "astray" from gOD, but isn't he doing me a favour? Afterall gOD only created the world... he has no say on it now (otherwise why not remove the confusing fossils?!?). So Satan is the guy holding all the cosmic cards, and we should really be sucking up to him shouldn't we?
Kinda makes you think doesn't it.
In either case I like these theories as it means I don't have to even pretend creationists have a point. They're just talking out their @$$es. Which in fairness they're only one stepped removed from when they acknowledge fossils exist.